Friday, 30 December 2011

Peace

A place of utter silence, if such a place existed, what would it be like? Would it be peace?
.
.
.

Its just her in that space, and nobody else. No dogs barking, no birds, not even insects, not even the sound of the wind and trees. Just her, and utter silence - or so it should have been.

/ Voices. So many of them. /


But how could that be! She blinks awake, and shuts her eyes again. In this space, its supposed to be her alone. She did not give consent to anyone; there is no one around in that closed room.

/ They invade. Like a broken tape, playing over and over. /


Invisible conversations, she wonders why she is hearing them, even if nobody speaks. She plugs her ears, yet they stay.

Words and more words, laughter, and more words, sounds indiscernible.

/ Because the noise lies inside. And it wants to talk. /


The noise she seeks to run away from.


Peace, remains shattered.



Monday, 19 December 2011

Remembering you

An year passes back. You haven't come back. Time goes on. I laugh, I cry, I make mistakes, I try to mend them.

Hoping my prayers reach you, hoping your loved ones stand strong, hoping you are watching over us.

I live, carrying with me, a little part of you.



Friday, 9 December 2011

Killing a relationship

I don't know if I hate you or hate myself. I don't know if I hurt you more or you hurt me. I don't know if I'm hurting more or is it you. I don't know where it went wrong. There are too many things I just don't know. Maybe you don't too.

What I do know is that I probably have a few more tears left. I'll probably still wait for that text or call which won't come. You will pop up in my head more times than I can keep count of because I have a fairly good memory. If I could cheat a bit, I would turn the wheels of the clock back to when we were both smiling. That I never meant to hurt you, not even once and I don't like to see you looking like that, not even for a second, for whatsoever reason.

So I should probably stop plotting silly things like vengeance. And maybe someday we can both laugh about it.

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Color

"Did you know that some people dream in black and white?"

 She blinks. "Is that so?"

"Yeah! That's what I read. " Her companion chatters. "Amazing, right?"



"Hmmm. " She thinks about it. It will be like watching an old movie."What do you dream in?"

"Huh?"

"Black and white, or color, silly." Its funny  to remind him, since he was the one who brought it up.

"Color of course." He rolls his eyes.

She smiles,"Say, can we do something after this? Go somewhere... "


"No time!"  Pause. "Actually. Look at the watch. I should be going. So much to do. " he drains the last of his coffee.

"Evening...?"

"No good. Uhh. Not today, ok? I'll, uh, call you up and we'll do something I swear!"


'Did you know...'

"Did you say something?" He tosses the cup in the bin.


"No. Nothing. " She smiles. "Do take care. "


Did you know? That some people live in black and white?


She doesn't think he has the time to understand.















Saturday, 12 November 2011

Bits and pieces

To break into a thousand pieces, and put them together one by one by one. And do it many times over. How much time would it take?

If nobody keeps count, how much time would slip by?

Maybe it would stop, or become eternity.






Thursday, 3 November 2011

Fear


"You are scared of everything!"

"There are some things you have to be scared of. " She answers.

She has always been afraid. Of things she can see and those she cannot.

Perhaps more of the ones unseen.

"You can't be scared forever. "

She ponders. Fear.

What is fear? She wonders. She best knows it as this gripping feeling. A hand wrapping around the heart, and squeezing it, not enough for her to stop breathing, but enough for her to feel it.

"I can if I choose to."

She doesn't understand. Has she chosen fear? Or has it chosen her?

"That's stupid."

Yes, perhaps it is.

"So be it then." But her answer doesn't change.

Because it has been her companion as long as she can remember, holding her hand and walking with her.

Whether it kills or helps her live through the day to come remains uncertain.




 


Monday, 17 October 2011

The Mask

You take off one mask... and then you were another.

Some are smiling, some frown.

 Which one will you wear today? The meeting mask, the outing mask, the greeting mask, the thinking mask, or maybe the caring one. There are so many of them. So many choices!

Each one has a purpose, and each one has a place.

/A part to play. And play it does. / 

You are brilliant, you are dazzling. You are the winner. Yes there is also a mask for that - the winning face.

And you have to wear it, wear them. Keep wearing them. Maybe you are wearing too many at a time even. Because there isn't always enough time to change.

/They won't come off!/

 Now they are there to stay.

/Stay forever. And you wonder. /

If. If they ever come off.

What will be your real face?



 







Friday, 14 October 2011

The End?

The colors are as vivid as they were on a day long, long ago. There is a lot of green, some blue. More green, less blue. As much as you love the sky, you can't help but admire the emerald. Its refreshing. In this place, it is like time has stopped, just for you.

Or not really. You know its moving bit by bit, as the seconds tick.

So then, maybe it is you who have stopped. Stopped to breathe and look around, take a moment for yourself, and just breathe.

The place is not real, but real. You eyes are closed, so you shouldn't be seeing, but you are seeing, in this place in your head.

But the end is still far, far away, and you cannot see there.

Quite possibly, you don't even need to. But it makes you wonder.

Can the end keep changing?