Thursday, 24 September 2015

Beneath Every Strong, Independent Woman Lies A Broken Little Girl?

A few days back, I came across this on my Facebook feed. I was alarmed that it was posted by someone quite dear to me.

At the time that I started writing this, this post had 17582 likes and 24283 shares. For anyone keen to check out the current stats, here’s the url:  Source

It got me thinking that there is a huge number of fierce, strong, successful & independent women out there who are still feeling like broken little girls (and maybe guys are part of this population too), who got up on their own and cannot depend on anybody.

This is the truth which all of these lovely ladies believe about themselves and I found it disturbing and grave.

I am making this assumption because, honestly, if you like or share a post on Social Media, it is because something in it resonates with you – especially posts which have an emotional connect – at least my internal reaction is something like ‘Yes, that’s me!’ followed by a like/share.

If this is indeed the belief that one believes about themselves, I have to wonder whether no matter how wonderfully life must be treating them on the outside, no matter how much they earn, how much they spend, how good their partner is, how amazing their kids are, how much their life simply rocks now – are all of these strong ladies are possibly feeling alone on the inside?

In that case, I can imagine, that they would also have, a possibly bitter view towards other people and perhaps the world in general. I can imagine in their minds, thoughts relating to the its every man for himself mindset which may not be the healthiest. 

Life throws a lot of us in terms of challenges, obstacles as well as opportunities. I am sure that every one of these self-made ladies must have endured a lot and also risen above all circumstances.

I am sure these wonderful ladies have many diverse achievements to celebrate. It may be success in the workplace or being able to pursue a personal dream. It may be successfully raising children at home against all odds or may be successfully fighting a disability. All the accolades that are coming to them right now are well deserved rewards of their struggles. 

But I want these strong, beautiful women to question themselves – are you really broken little girls on the inside? Or are you actually triumphant warriors who can smile at the challenges life threw at you, which you overcame?

It’s true that there are times when everything in life feels hopeless. There are times when you feel alone – so alone. You may feel that there is no one who can understand your pain, your struggle, this war that life is waging on you. 

When I think of these situations, I think of another quote:

The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg – Unknown

When we face difficult situations in life, I hope we can use them to soften us, discover love, rather than them making us hard headed and bitter.

So all of you lovely ladies out there, who are broken little girls inside, think carefully - was there really no one you could depend on? 

I am sure you got up on your own for most of the part you got up on your own. But could you really depend on NO ONE?

Even if your mom couldn't take away your work related problems, maybe she worried about you and gave you a hug when you needed it most.

Even if your dad or siblings or spouse couldn't shoulder all the burden of what you were going through, maybe they gave you a kind shoulder to lean on, listened to all your fears, apprehensions and tears, gave you much needed encouragement when you were faltering and did whatever effort they could to lessen your suffering.

Even if your friends couldn't support you directly, maybe they called you up now and then to ensure that you were OK. Didn't it make the getting up after a knockout part just that much easier?

Did you say yes to anything of the above?  Then I hope you realize that you have many reasons to smile!

I always feel one should be mindful of what one consumes through social media; else we could end up having the most bizarre beliefs about ourselves. I also believe that one should look deeply into whatever experience they are going through, there are so many things one can learn by being observant.

Yes there will still be pain, frustration, loneliness but there will also be love, joy and things to be thankful for.

At the end of the day, I would gladly be the soft potato than the hard egg!

(And even the egg is not so bad actually, because it’s still yummy on the inside!)

Note: I apologize if I have hurt anybody. These views are strictly my own. I do not own any of the images used in this post.


  1. From my experience i learned self love is so important. Bcause when you are all alone crying, felling worthless. you have to pick yourself up and find strength to carry on . At the end of the day , you are all you have got.

    1. Hello Sandip,

      First of all, thank you for stopping by and reading! I agree with you. Self love is very, very important. It is crucial and I am discovering it only recently.

      But I do believe that love heals and adds to a feeling of well being & assurance. If its not healing, then perhaps its not self love but something else.

      There are many emotions wherein we focus on the self. I have personally experienced self pity & self loathing among others.

      While I was putting plenty of focus on the self, somehow I wasn't feeling any better! In fact it only got worse. I thought that all unfair things happened to me alone, everyone else seemed to be well off in some or the other way!

      Now when things have improved a bit and I think back, I realized it was not so, even in dark times, there was love and support. It was true that this love and supports would not make my problems disappear, not even close - but it was still there.

      At the end of the day, there may be some challenges in which nobody is able to help us, we may have to rise on our own. I believe that more often than not, these challenges are our test from a higher power - to make us stronger. Wishing for someone to save us then might be like wishing someone else would answer our exam paper because it is so tough!

      But even if the exam is tough - if we hear a small encouragement - You can do it, from someone, somewhere, we might just end up faring better.